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End of Racial Discrimination at Universities Coincides, "Mysteriously," with Rise in Asian Admissions

asian students

 Johns Hopkins University has recorded a historic increase in the number of Asian-American students following the Supreme Court decision that banned the use of race as a selection criterion in admissions processes. The phenomenon, described by educational analysts as "baffling," has left researchers scratching their heads in search of a plausible explanation.

"It's an absolute mystery," declared a source close to the university, who requested anonymity. "Overnight, young people who historically had higher grades, more extracurricular activities, and stronger essays began to be admitted in greater numbers. Frankly, I have no idea what could be going on."

The Baltimore Banner report, published earlier today, consulted dozens of higher education specialists, sociologists, and statisticians. None of them, according to the outlet, were able to offer any hypothesis regarding the correlation between the elimination of a system that disadvantaged Asian applicants and the subsequent increase in Asian applicants being admitted.

The Supreme Court had struck down, in 2023, the system known as affirmative action, which allowed universities to take skin color into account in admissions — a practice that, according to studies, systematically resulted in higher cutoff scores for Asian-American applicants than for any other demographic group. The relationship between that fact and the new statistics remains, however, "an enigma," according to the publication.

On social media, users gently attempted to help journalists solve the puzzle, with modest results. "Maybe it's the alignment of the planets," suggested one. "Or maybe it's because they stopped using their race against them," speculated another, in a theory not yet confirmed by academia.

Johns Hopkins stated in a press release that it "is committed to academic excellence and diversity," without clarifying whether the two concepts continue, as before, to be treated as opposites. The investigation into the mysterious causes of the phenomenon is ongoing, with an expected conclusion date of never.

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